Last Saturday, I did a thing. It may not seem like a big thing, but for me… it was a HUGE thing.
I RAN. In a RACE! Ok so it was a kids race and it was only a mile, but I did it! If you know me, you know I don’t run. I was the girl in middle school that walked so slowly they swore I was going backwards. In high school I was the girl that developed a little (or a lot) early and used shorty shorts to avoid all gym activities, perioT!
This was an achievement a lifetime in the making.
Let us start at the beginning, shall we?
My lovely cousin (@SteffiMarrs) signed my son up for an Iron Kids race against his will. (We are teaching him the ways of the petty so he may understand how to properly wield this power in the future.). He told her he doesn’t run, she said… well, you’re gonna! I just tried to mind my business before she signs me up for something against my will too!
Danny didn’t want to run, he didn’t want to train, he did not want to do anything other than Fortnite (Grrr!!!). Those that know me, know that I have been working very hard to get my life in order, and that includes my physical health as well. I have been doing yoga daily, walking, trying to eat better and I even succumbed to a demon pilates class. (From which my body is still in shock) My nugget on the other hand, will roll across the room to get the remote instead of getting up to get it. As race day approached, we found out that a parent can also run with their child. Naturally, I designated that task to Joe. He’s the athletic one, Oo-Rah, right?! The night before, I changed my mind.
I can run a mile with Dan! I’ve been busting my ass, a mile with a bunch of kids should be a breeze, right? In the spirit of “I Can”, I decided, I AM! But then… it was race day…
Every excuse I had came up on the morning of the race. What if I bust my ass in front of all these kids? What if I can’t run the whole thing? What if we were last?! What if Danny refuses to even run? Luckily, Joe also happens to be our family cheerleader and seems to know what to say to keep me motivated. “Shut up and get your ass to the starting line.” So, Dan and I moseyed our way to the start line. We hyped ourselves up that the ½ mile kids race before us ended pretty quickly. We can totally keep up a jog for 10 mins. There’s no way this 4-year-old in a tutu can do a ½ mile with a smile and a blankie and we can’t do a whole one.
That’s it! We got this! Either way, we're in it together. The guy in the big parakeet looking suit gets us and the 50 or so kids (and parents) hyped to kick off the run. Everyone is cheering and the heat is just starting to seep into the tree covered starting line. Joe headed to the sideline and that’s it… Were in the middle of a bunch of kids ready to stampede. My anxiety of being in crowds is creeping in but I have to shake it off. Most of the crowd is smaller than me so I push my anxiety down into the depths and Danny and I hold hands as the count down starts. We hear Joe from the sidelines “Let go of each other and RUN, Jesus!” I swear he should be a motivational speaker. I withhold flipping him off because, well… the children.
We laugh and take off! We’re betting on Fortnite access and V-bucks to motivate each other for a good 3 minutes until we have to stop running because we may actually die. Why the hell did I think this would be a good idea? Then this little kid with glasses and a backwards hat breezes past us and yells, “come on guys you can do it!” A push from a 7-year-old… I will not be shown up by a child. I say I a little prayer that my boobs stay in place and don’t hit me in the face, I grab Danny’s arm and yell RUN OR WE WATCH EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND FOR 6 HOURS INSTEAD OF FORTNITE! With that, Dan takes off with a speed I have never seen before and I’m left standing in shock. I rushed to chase after him, but it was too late. He was making the turn that I hadn’t even started yet. We pushed hard to make it to the finish line. All the parents are yelling “GO MOM!!” I’m trying not to cry because my chest is on fire, my thighs are confused as to WTF is happening and I really wish I took some pre- work out or cocaine or something. By now the enclosed pool with snapping turtles is starting to look like a better option than finishing this race. I shake it off and run after Dan yelling, we can see the finish line!
I have to tell you, crossing that finish line with Dan and seeing them put a medal around his neck was one of the proudest moments of my life. We accomplished something we NEVER thought we would. Running? No not for us. Dan says he only runs for football and I only run if someone is chasing me, with a knife, and they’re not very fast…. Any who….
We ran, we finished, and we did it together. It’s been 3 days, and my body is still confused as to what happened. Dan closed out the race with this gem:
“FACT: I’m never running again…. Oh wait! Did I see chocolate ice-cream over there??”
I have to say though, every time I pass his Iron Kids medal laying so gently around his football trophy, I swell with pride. We are planning our next adventure and although Danny isn’t thrilled about it, I’m so ready to take it on!
I did it! I ran! I completed a whole mile! I can do anything!
Just as soon as my legs stop seizing up…